Q&A How Can He Have No Feelings for the Affair Partner or Not Remember How He Expressed Feelings for Her?

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My partner & I are both divorced and have been in a committed relationship for the past 6 years. After noticing archived chats on his phone 6 weeks ago, he disclosed that at the beginning of our relationship he had 2 encounters with 2 different women he met online for casual sex. I then asked him about an old friend he was friendly with that I had suspected something had happened 4 years ago. He had denied it many times. He disclosed that they had sex once 4 years ago, in his home. He stopped the sexual relationship after she wanted more, he became very afraid that I would find out. They continued to meet in a coffee shop, near each of their work places. They met in a coffee shop another 8 times just to talk according to him. He loved that she flirted with him and that she wanted sex with him. He says he didn't touch her again but he did talk and text in a way that made her believe that he wanted her and that he had feelings for her. He says now that he never had any feelings for her. Not believing him, I asked about the deleted texts, did he tell her that he missed her, wanted her. He doesn't remember. How can he have no feelings for her or not remember how he expressed feelings for her? She was an old friend…I just don't believe him.



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