I know you've said to commit to a year before deciding to leave the marriage, but as the betrayed, I don't know how to let down my guard and be vulnerable with someone who had hurt me so badly and tells me he's only committing for a year or so.... that he doesn't want a mediocre marriage. The thing is, we're in EMS Online and he's barely getting his homework done, he's not taking it seriously like you recommended. Just last night, he was finishing his homework on the call. I promised myself I wouldn't nag him about it and I haven't. But my heart is crying out. I want to draw near to him, but to me, he's not safe. He's not trying. He wants me to do all the work to make our marriage not mediocre. I feel like I'm auditioning for a part and if I don't perform up to his standard, he's leaving. And he's the one who just had the full blown affair. Her says more is the time to give it my all.... but he's giving so little himself. What do I do? I'm terrified of being used and hurt.