Q&A How Can I Even Buckle Down and Finish EMS Online Knowing That Essentially I Was Discarded?

We are on Week 3 of EMS Online. Married legally for 17 years almost. And while I didn’t learn much that I had not already expected the timeline was dramatically different, expanding from 12 to 20 months. My husband sought out an affair that went emotional for 7 months & physical 4 months. I discovered the first time at this point in Oct 2022 and physical had already ended. Then after claiming to have ended it he refused to end the contact for another 9 mo when I had my second D-day in June 2023. The affair began intentionally in a time where I had been begging for help, feeling stretched thin between my career, his career and raising our children. How can I even buckle down and finish EMS Online knowing that essentially I was discarded…in a time I was asking for help…for another? It wasn’t accidental. It wasn’t opportunistic. It was pathological. And now…he wants to work on this?! I don’t understand how he didn’t have a complete connection to this person. I also don’t understand how the connection he had suddenly disappears and he again wants our marriage?