My husband and I are 8 months past D-Day, and I still have very conflicted feelings about sexual intimacy. On the one hand, I'm feeling a greater need for sex because our sex life was never very good and I feel like it's my turn. On the other hand, sex no longer means the same things to me. It is now just a physical act, and does not feel emotional or like something that connects us. I know you recommend open eye sex to restore intimacy, but I can't even imagine being that open or vulnerable to him right now. In fact, I usually need to be a little drunk, or think about him as someone else in order for me to enjoy it. I know none of this is healthy, and want to change my thoughts around it. Right now I feel very stuck in my intrusive thoughts, resentment, anger, lack of trust, my loss of respect for him, and my overall feeling that sex between us has been ruined and is no longer special. I should note that we are currently in week 12 of EMS Online, and I am already doing EMDR, praying, and having productive conversations with him about my feelings and triggers. But I'm still stuck.