Q&A How Can We Figure out What the Affair Was About?

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Question: 

We are stuck at this place where my spouse believes she has told me everything, but I feel that I know next to nothing. Yes, I know what happened, but I don't know WHAT happened. I don't know if it was about love, sex, attention, not happy at home or anything. How can we get to this place where she can tell me so I can know what happened?

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