Q&A How Can You Create Safety When the Affair Partner Is a Co-Worker?

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Question: 

My mate had an affair with a coworker, who they continue to work closely with. I know my mates job is important to them, and I worry that it would be a setback for our family, in many ways, if they had to leave the position. At the same time it is hard for me to feel safe knowing my mate is near, and speaking with, their AP 5 days a week. I'm willing to walk, and work, through the pain this has caused me, but it is hard to maintain a commitment to doing that work when I am so frequently scared of a relapse. You have previously discussed the problem of the AP being a vanity mirror, and the betrayed a magnifying mirror, which I also worry about with the AP still being around. Could you talk about why safety is so important to the betrayed, and steps the unfaithful can take to provide a sense of safety in this situation, please?

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