Q&A How Do I Get the Affair Partners Out of My Head?

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My husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker for a month in 2021. I did know this person. A week after he kissed her, I was told about what was happening due to the guilt. My husband was sent away to Seattle to be with is Uncle where he downloaded a dating app. He had a sexual encounter with 1 female in a car but she backed out of having sex. Another female encounter happened in a car where sex did take place. I didn't find out about what happened in Seattle till Spring of 2023. I also found out about some inappropriate things that happened with other co-workers that were "minor" incidents or bots online. I can't seem to get the AP's out of my head. Its torture. Especially with the emotional affair partner. I'm terrified that she thinks my husband actually liked or loved her, when everything really rooted back to the pain of childhood trauma and neglect and being introduced to porn at a young age. I have so much hate for her. My husband is doing everything he can to help me get through all of this and is a very changed man but I feel like I'm going insane almost 24/7. Every time I kiss him I see him kissing one of them and I trigger badly. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around everything that was said and done. Part of me feels guilty that I couldn't protect him. In some ways I feel like she got away with it even though I'd been told by a friend that she is suffering for her sins since she got pregnant with some other guy the following February and the father wants nothing to do with her.



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