Q&A How Do I Get Complete Disclosure on How Deep This Sex Addiction Goes?

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My husband and I are 7 months out from our 2nd D-Day. our first D-Day was 18 years ago. We have divorced and remarried since then. We are starting EMS Online on April 24th. There was a profile sent to him after I enrolled for EMS Online. It basically said that he has the tendencies of somebody with a sex addiction. I have tried to address this with him and he finally admitted it after 29 years together. How do I get complete disclosure on how deep this sex addiction goes? He said he only dabbles in porn once or twice a year. I haven't asked him about masturbation and fantasizing in his head however I did ask him how many women he has fantasized about through the years that he has worked with. And apparently there were a few. The biggest problem is he does not want to look at it and he does not want to talk about it. He keeps going back to what he learned about six months ago, and that is that he didn't have a closer relationship with Christ, didn't know who he was in Christ, and was just looking to be validated and having his needs met. I say that's all bs. There is no emotional needs being met with porn or sexualizing another woman in your mind. They are all sexual needs. How do we get through this and how do I get complete disclosure? How do I get him to tell the truth as to how deep this has run for years? He is willing to make several changes and willing to meet with our pastor, for as much good as that to doing, but he is refusing counseling because he doesn't believe it will help and it's too expensive. As if his infidelity hasn't cost us thousands upon thousands of dollars already. What's a few more thousand?



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