How do you wrap your mind around what the unfaithful has done in choosing to be with another lover and then come to a place where you want to re-engage sexually with them? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who chose another over them? The very prospect feels like sleeping with your abuser. I struggle with this daily and still can not imagine why or how I can come to a place where I could be comfortable re-engaging with the man I gave my virginity to, who planned and then threw our exclusivity away for another woman. It still feels like I would be violating and betraying myself and my preciousness. It is just so confusing and so very painful. How did you do it?