Q&A How Do I Overcome This Vicious Cycle?

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Question: 

I feel stuck. We are just past two months past the last D-Day, four months since the first D-Day, and I can't move forward. I want to forgive my husband and believe he is trying to show me he is different, to make changes, to be transparent and we are taking EMSO together. Every time I start to feel close to him I have intrusive thoughts of him with the affair partner. I have thoughts of how cruel he was to me during the affair and the hurtful things he said to me. I think about him coming home to me after being with her and how he didn’t use protection during his infidelity. I know he is sorry, but I am still reeling from so much. I am stuck in a cycle of torment and despair and I don't know how to get out of it. Sometimes it is very overwhelming for him as well, to watch me cycle through such a range of emotions, from love for him to despair over what has happened. How do I get past this vicious cycle and function as a normal person in all areas of life again, not just my marriage? In addition to complete confusion as a wife, I am not the worker, mother, friend or individual I used to be or would like to be, anymore.

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