Q&A How do I Translate Knowledge Into Action?

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Question: 

Hi Rick

For seven of the fifteen year relationship with my wife I have been unfaithful. My affair started six months before we decided to get married seven years into our relationship. The affair timing, its length as well as its emotional and sexual nature has been devastating for my wife. What has not helped is drip feeding the time line with at least three major disclosures over nine months. It was her idea to turn to Affair Recovery for help. We watched blogs and read articles to start and then decided to do the Boot Camp. This structured program helped immensely. So much so that 19 months after D-Day we signed up for EMSO. We are now on week 8 of the program. It is very challenging but brilliant. I am beginning to understand myself more and the devastation I have caused yet still find myself becoming angry with my wife and displaying poor communication in time of stress and anxiety. Why is this? I understand how my wife must be feeling, I get the chapters and the work I am doing but I don’t seem to be able translate the good work into concrete actions. How do I make this connection more meaningfully? How can I become better at helping my wife to heel? Surely she should be the angry one?

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