Can you please discuss what to do in the immediate weeks of D-days and how to deal? I am 4 weeks past and I feel like we are stuck in an endless loop of his shame on the affair and my freaking out over him holding his phone or when he's coming home. We are committed and tried a marriage counselor that does not seem to be connecting with us. The one I would like to try has a 4-8 week waiting list. He is disclosing the affair to me but is very frustrated with the process. I feel like I can barely survive and he wants me to find joy in the moments of the day. Please help.