Q&A How Do We Move past All the Secrets?

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Question: 

I discovered my spouses affairs almost 1 year ago. He has done some work and because we attended the EMS Weekend, says he understands much more. My problem is that he still has only admitted to what I know, and unfortunately I found out a few more things after the weekend. He plays the gas lighting game saying, "I know more than he does" because of what I found. I have lived in such pain for so long and finally found a therapist that seems to be helping me get back on my feet. The problem I am now having is ambivalence. Just last night he came to me wanting to work on lessons on the AR site but I don't want to anymore. My therapist and I have come up with a year plan where I exercise, take classes, take care of myself, and see where that takes me. In the past I have asked, cried, pleaded, and lashed out to try and get him to tell me the whole story so that I could move past and on with our lives with no success. I have been left day after day to live in my pain and it has changed me. Being in a relationship with someone who can't be honest and keeps his secrets well guarded is a horrible way to live. I don't want to be with someone who I don't know or trust.

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