Q&A How Long Should I Wait for Consistent Honesty?

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Question: 

We are 4 months past D-Day and this is my husband's second infidelity. Twelve years ago he had a one night stand. Last summer, my husband had an affair for ten months. It was sexual with no emotional attachment. My husband is extremely remorseful and claims he's horrified at the person he became. He's in individual therapy and H4H, I am in HH and we're both in EMSO. The problem is he continues to hold back information or outright lie about details of the affair. The only way he comes clean is if I press him on it or revisit it later and he then confesses to the lie. You talk about consistency from the unfaithful spouse, but how long is consistent behavior? I don't feel like sprinkling in lies between truths is consistency. I have been very clear with him about my need for complete honesty during recovery. How long should I wait before saying I can't take the lies anymore?

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