Q&A Is It Okay to Ask for 90 Days of Abstinence?

My unfaithful spouse and I are in the emso course and there's a question about addressing the barriers to reconnecting where I'm to ask you a question if I can't find it in the library. So the barriers I've listed are -I've forgotten who I am in trying to be what he desires -I don't think he would really choose me, he has chosen porn more than once in our recovery course alone -I don't feel more special than a very young girl in a dirty video -I've spent years trying to want what he wants and now I compartmentalize the physical parts. In the course this week you mention 90 days of sexual abstinence, I feel like that might actually help me and our intimacy in a lot of ways, however my husband has never been very open to a lack of sexual activity, he lets me know in small ways that he will need to find sexual release at some point and that I need to remember I'm the one asking him to not have what he needs. My fear of being the reason he uses porn or contacts women online or finds another AP keeps me from knowing what's really healthy or acceptable to ask for.