Q&A Is It Possible That My Spouse Never Blamed Me for Their Actions?

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Question: 

My husband and I have worked very hard at healing. EMSO, books, counseling. He, on his own, confessed to over a decade of one night stands, strip clubs, and more. But, one thing still troubles me. He claims he never vilified me in order to justify his affairs. How is that possible? Is he in denial? Looking back, I can see his affairs line up with times in his life he was depressed, even suicidal. We can both now see how the guilt and shame impacted him, he has been free of such depression since confession and his repentance. He’s a new man. But, is it possible that he never blamed me for his actions? He just keeps saying he always knew I deserved more, he felt he married “up”, but was too personally lazy and selfish to change. I want to ensure we’re not walking in denial, and our healing is real, for both of us.

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