My husband and I are 20 months from D Day. He has had 2 affairs, and I found out about both affairs on the same day. His first affair was 21 years ago, and lasted approximately 1 1/2 years. His second affair lasted six years, involved a woman decades younger than himself, and ended on D Day when she informed me of the affair by text. We have two sons, 21, and 25 years old. Both, as far as I know, are unaware of the affairs. My question is, should we tell our grown sons? I do not want to "tell" to inflict pain or revenge on their father. I do not like the issue of secrets...secrets are why affairs take place in the first place. I believe sharing our story is a teachable experience. My husband would prefer not tell our grown sons, but I would rather they hear it from us, and not from the OW, who is not above hurting others for revenge. Your valued insight is most appreciated!