Q&A My Husband's AP May be Pregnant with his Child. What do I do?

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I found out about my husband's affair a month ago, when his AP found me on Facebook and disclosed everything about their relationship. She did not know he was married, but after not hearing from him for a period of time, looked him up, and found his account and consequently mine. She seemed very upset by what happened, and I told her it wasn't her fault because she didn't know he was married. She told me that she was going to step away from the situation for a bit to care for herself and her daughter, but told me she planned to come back into the picture because she will do whatever it takes, even if it takes years, to get the closure she needs from my husband. I told her that while I'm sure she's upset and hurt, closure will not come from my husband while we are still married because if there is any chance for us to heal, she can never be in contact with either of us again. She then messaged me a very nasty message, saying as long as she is in the picture I will never be in control and that she's pregnant with my husband's child, 16 weeks, due in August, with a boy, and she will not have her child grow up without a father so she will be in our lives no matter what. She then sent a text to my husband calling me a bitch and telling him that she was pregnant ( this was the first he had heard of it and they hadn't talked in perhaps a month or two until D Day) and told him to figure out his stuff with me and then he and she need to talk. He responded with I need proof, we're going to a doctor so you can take a test, I want a paternity test, and this needs to happen today. It has been a month since that exchange and we have heard nothing from her. I am terrified that she very well could be pregnant with my husband's child. It's preventing me from healing and moving forward, because I feel she has this hanging over us, and I can't wait till August for her to show up with a kid. I need to know the reality of this now. We are both 28, we have no children of our own yet. I just found out I may have infertility issues. This affair pregnancy would devastate us, his family (they know about the affair and are very upset and heartbroken by his actions, and want nothing to do with a child from the affair, if one existed), and my whole life. I can't live with this unknown answer. What should we do? Is there a way to get her to prove she's even pregnant? If she is, then the paternity test would have to wait till birth, but it’s a constant cloud hanging over me. Please help. I feel like I can't work on healing if I don’t know the full picture. I can't set myself up for D-Day part two... And not be able to prepare for the impact it will have on me and my life.



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