Q&A Should Communication with Counselors Be Enough for Me to Feel Supported?

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My husband and I are 6 months since D-Day. We attended EMS Weekend; we meet individually with counselors and go to marriage counseling. I’m struggling with the fact that we have not shared outside these safe zones. My husband is very private and image conscious. He doesn’t want anybody to know what he’s done. He says he can just talk to me. What I hear is “people think I’m a great guy and family man, if someone knew they might look at me differently, I already told you isn’t that good enough? The problem is secrets are what got us into this situation. I would like to have someone who knows us both, who can support, not judge and even provide some accountability. When I talk about the need to open up with select family he doesn’t want to do that and he’s not sure how he would react once they knew, almost threatening that if they did know it would be too much for him. I’m really struggling being the only person hurt by the affair, the only one carrying the weight of the pain, with no one to talk to except the person that hurt me. Do I push to open up the conversation with others or should I find satisfaction in the fact that we are communicating with counselors?




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