Q&A Should Safety Override Pursuing the Path We Think Might Be Best for Us?

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Question: 

D-Day was 6 weeks ago. I learned of my wife's longterm affair with a woman. I was told they last had sex 8 years ago but regular communication continued beyond that. Communication through the past 3 years was sparse but they met for lunch last summer. A major geographical barrier separated them the last 10 years. For the past 8 months my wife and I have intensively explored the possibility of moving to a different city where her family lives and where we suspect our lives would be somewhat better overall (including better for our relationship). Unfortunately, her affair partner also now lives there. We have an opportunity to make this move now but may not have that opportunity in the future. We would be moving to a smaller city where we would both necessarily work directly with the affair partner, albeit probably only once every month or two. We would both be likely to encounter the affair partner in the workplace at other times. In my gut, I lean toward making the move. I've seen you say that the affair partner should be avoided if possible. I have however seen another helpful video clip on the site talking about reclamation. I don't want to foolishly hinder our recovery efforts with affair partner contact but I also don't want to let this keep us from pursuing the path that we think may be best for us overall.

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