Q&A Should We Abstain from Sex at This Point in Our Recovery?

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I am struggling to know what boundaries I should be placing in our sex life. D-day was about 4 weeks ago when I found out more about my husbands infidelity. However, I enjoy sex. This has been an issue in our marriage for quite some time now-me asking why he doesn’t want to have sex more often. I read and listen to all the blogs that say women have no desire for intimacy or sex for quite some time after discovery and I wonder if this is a dysfunctional boundary that is not in place for me? I have engaged in sexual activity with my husband starting from about a week after discovery. He also seems interested in more frequent sex at this time than is typical for him. When I ask him what it means to him he says he feels like we are making love. At this time it is not that for me, it really is just sexual enjoyment for me and a period of non-conflict closeness. I have been open with him that something is amiss in our intimacy, but the sex is satisfying. I struggle with images intruding at times but am usually able to continue. Should we be abstaining during this time? Is this creating more unhealthy issues? We have SO much work to do and things to figure out, decisions to make. I am open that I do not even know where I am at with the decision of staying in the marriage or going. But is it Ok to continue to be sexual with him while we are deciding and figuring this out?



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