Q&A What Are Your Thoughts about Our Disclosure Process?

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Question: 

My spouse and I had our most recent disclosure day a little over a year ago with just him and me present and a bullet list he created of ways and times he was unfaithful. There were some things he generalized, some things he glossed over, and some things he omitted entirely. I had to take notes and asked a lot of painful questions, many of which revealed more infidelity. He says that between that and the questions I’ve asked since, and some trickle-truth discoveries over the past year, I have the whole story. I do not believe this is the case. He started seeing a CSAT therapist and joined a support group for sex addiction since then. His therapist instructed him to work on a detailed formal disclosure and included directions for how and when I was supposed to receive this information. One of the requirements was to have the disclosure done in a safe location after both of us have been prepared (I’m not sure what that involves), and with the therapists guiding or facilitating the disclosure. This is different from the way Affair Recovery recommends it as I understand, but that’s one reason I’m writing. I do not currently have my own therapist and we are enrolled in EMS Online. We are going through the lessons based on his old and, I believe, incomplete disclosure from last year. My questions are, first, is this type of disclosure his therapist contractually insists on something you have encountered before, and what are your thoughts about it? Second, will we be able to continue in the course with the disclosure we already have, incomplete as I believe it to be, since this formal disclosure seems a long way off yet?

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