Q&A What Is the Best Way to Keep Boundaries in a Situation Where the Affair Happens in a Tight Knit Community?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My wife and I are heavily involved in a church that we grew up in. Unfortunately my wife had an emotional affair with her best friend's husband, who also attends that church. I'm caught in a spot where I'm attending a church and my wife and I see the AP 2 to 3 times a week. She's cut off all contact with him, but it's a flood of triggers every time we go. My wife's best friend does not know about the affair, because I'm afraid if I tell her then she'll tell our whole church and we'll be forced to no longer attend (she's the pastor's daughter). She also regularly asks my wife to hang out and invites my wife over. I feel like I should tell the AP's spouse in order to create more safety and to help ensure boundaries are kept. But the situation feels like a catch 22 where there is no good option. Moving from our childhood church is one of the last things we want to do. What is the best way to keep boundaries in a situation where the affair happens in a tight knit community like this?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas