Q&A What Does His Excuse for the Affairs Truly Mean?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 05/24/2017 - 17:38

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

Hi Rick. My husband has stated this as his excuse for his affairs:

"Babe, you gave me everything I needed and more. You gave me plenty of attention and I am so lucky to have you. Women like you don't go for guys like me. You are the most perfect and beautiful woman I have ever met. There was not one thing wrong at home. I just liked the extra attention and ego boost from the affairs".

What does this mean?

One was a one night thing.
One was a 4-6 month thing.
The other was a full blown 8+ month relationship where he admits he was in love and did not want it to end. She left him and he continued to try to chase her.

Something does not add up. His affairs were during our entire relationship and marriage until he got caught.

 

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

Thank you so much for posing

Submitted by [name hidden] on

Thank you so much for posing this question.
While my marriage prior to the affair wasn't perfect it pretty good. And he has told me countless times it wasn't about her, it was about his strokes to his ego. And in fact I've studied the phone records and 98%of the texting & calls happened when I wasn't with him so it was very much like he was just looking for attention all the time.
Grandiose was a new term for me so I looked it up and the more I read about it the more it described my husband. It's always so helpful to me to have a name for things!

He has already begun work on him but this post, I showed him and some of the articles I found really helped him admit what I've known he's selfish. And his affair was nothing other than a selfish way of him thinking if only him!

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

What to read next

Q&A Is It Possible There Is a 7th Type of Affair?
Q&A What Do Same Sex Encounters Mean?
Q&A Should I Disclose My Revenge Affair to My Mate?
Q&A How Do I Discern What Is True in All of This?
Q&A Why Is the 'Why' Often Never Fully Discovered?

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
Learn More
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas