Q&A What is Realistic in Terms of Time Spent Talking About it?

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**combined 2 question submissions into 1** My husband and I are one month out from the exposure of his affair. He has told me the story but I often need to revisit and ask questions. He gets defensive and annoyed saying he already told me. I thought he was willing to do anything to make it right-so why is his pride so annoyed with my state that he has given me. He handled hurting me for two years but now things are still on his terms, HE can’t handle more than 30 minutes at a time. This feels so unfair and awful. We have been seeing a counselor who encouraged us to not talk daily about the affair but schedule times for it. This is not hard for the betrayer, but extremely hard for me. I get questions daily, not necessarily around details of the affair but regarding how he felt about me, how he treated me, anything, and I feel I have to stuff every question, every inquiry I get until 2 or 3 days later and I only get 30 minutes to talk. 30 minutes is all he can handle. When and how do we get through all this if we only have 30 minute increments every 3 days? It doesn’t seem fair and I’m suffering, he isn’t. My main question is how often can we talk about it realistically? What needs to be done and what is realistic in terms of time to talk it out weekly?



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