I really appreciate this q & a. I feel like I've completely forgotten how to love and act in the best interest of another. I get wrapped up in feelings of rejection because my spouse doesn't seem to feel remorseful enough to tolerate my difficult emotions resulting from his affair. I made a decision to stop giving him the love and respect that I once gave regardless of his actions. He's quick to notice how unfairly he feels treated but unable to see how he might have contributed to the situation. Although I don't feel that he deserves love, I liked myself much better when I felt the ability or love.