Q&A What Should I Do If Things Are Getting Worse Rather Than Better?

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Question: 

After discovery, I waited patiently for months for my husband to tell me what happened. I am still waiting for him to seek counseling, find a spiritual mentor or accountability partner. He is doing EMSO only because I insisted. The other night, after he showed a significant lack of care for my safety and heart, I finally let him have it, expressing all the things I have held in for 1 year during the affair when he treated me horribly and then 6 months since discovery where he remains in apathy. I did not use profanity, but I was so angry that all the hurt inside of me finally reached my lips. It's not a productive way to communicate, but it is what happened. He chose to take yet another opportunity to tell me his affair and all his hurt is my fault. He told me that my getting angry at how he has treated me over the years has caused all his problems. Say what?!?! So, I express a concern of our marriage, he does not do anything to fix it, it gets worse, I get hurt (expressed in anger) and he decides that my anger is a true rationale for having an affair and still refuses to acknowledge his part in my initial hurt but blames me for ALL of HIS hurt? Please speak to those of us who have done everything you have suggested (EMS, HH, therapy, accountability/spiritual partners, etc.), and things are still falling apart. I believe in marriage/family, never quitting anything in my life. I believe divorce is wrong and outside of God’s will for my life, but so are the behaviors prior to and after the affair that are so hurtful and demeaning. Speak to the betrayed who endure, stand taller, pray harder yet things are getting worse. I believed we had an amazing life together, got off track, but can heal, through God's grace. Am I delusional?

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