Q&A What Should I Do as the Unfaithful When Triggers Arise?

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My wife and I are over 13 months past D-Day. We have been through EMS, continuing with Married for life and see a christian counselor every couple of weeks for over a year now. We just talked about my lack of discussing triggers or reminders that makes her feel I do not care as much I should about her healing. We had our oldest daughter and her boyfriend over playing some games and I used a word to my daughter that I knew was more than likely an instant trigger to my wife. I instantly felt guilt, shame and was concerned it may have triggered her. I also assumed that she knew I was aware my slip. She said she does not understand why I did not pull her aside to apologize right at the time it happened. She said it is best if I verbally bring up reminders when we see, hear or drive by them. This is not what I naturally would have thought, much of what I have heard is to move, sell and get away from reminders. So some advice on this, for example driving by a trigger like a hotel and what I the unfaithful is supposed to do.



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