My husband of 40 years is an intelligent, successful man who always thoroughly thinks through the decisions he makes. The one exception, what he was thinking while betraying me. I'll ask him things like "What were you thinking when you were out to dinner with her?" His answer "I don't know." "Weren't you nervous about someone we know seeing you two together?", "I didn't think of that." etc. I know he thought about getting caught because he destroyed receipts and cell phone bills. However, he can't ever answer any questions related to what he was thinking about at any given time during his betrayal. All I ever get is "I don't know or I don't remember or I wasn't thinking of that." I find these answers extremely hard to believe. I want to continue the process of healing but I can't if he is still lying to me. Can you shed some light?