I am 4 1/2 months post D-Day but have had many disclosures since as he was not being completely honest. Our sex life after I found out was actually very good and once we started EMSO it got a little less frequent die to the heavy material we were dealing with. I believe at the beginning when it was really good I was either trying to be someone else or just in shock. We have gotten to the point now where sex ends in me curled up.in a ball crying. The whole time it is occurring all I can see in my mind is them together. They were together sexually 3 times I have been with him hundreds of times. Why do I seem to be going backwards? Why can I no longer have sex with my husband because that is all I think about?