Q&A Why Is Unprotected Sex within an Affair so Alluring?

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Question: 

My husband had unprotected sex with his affair partner. The sex seems to have been largely unplanned. However, he seems to have checked afterwards with her about whether she was taking contraception. He didn't seem worried about catching any diseases, even though he knew she was promiscuous. At one point, my husband took two condoms with him and arranged to meet his AP. They then had unprotected sex twice, but my husband says that packing the condoms had nothing to do with what happened. He claims that he used to take condoms in his wallet out of anger with me and go out looking for revenge sex - this happened during the entirety of our marriage, but never resulted in actual sex. On the occasion that he had sex twice with his AP and didn't use the two condoms he took, he claims that the condoms simply represented his anger towards me and had nothing to do with the eventual sex. My husband is a germaphobe and is really careful about wearing condoms when having sex with me in order to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. Can you shed some light on why it is that men in general who have affairs don't use condoms - what is it about unprotected sex within affairs that is so alluring for men?

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