Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

My Spouse Had an Affair: What Should I Do Now?

EMS Weekend for Couples Is Back in Person! Space Is Limited.

During EMS Weekend, we won’t shame the unfaithful or blame the betrayed; what we will do is pair you with expert infidelity counselors, comprehensive healing resources and a small group of other couples to heal with and learn from.

Register for EMS Weekend!

Read what past participants have to say.

After disclosure, it’s common for couples in crisis to ask both myself and my staff, "What should we do next?” It’s a fair question. After your world has been turned upside down by infidelity, it’s difficult to know what the proper course of action is to help repair the damage. "What if my spouse is ambivalent?” is another fair question, which can dictate what steps you decide to take in the immediate future. With the uncertainty of the marriage and family swirling around both spouses, finding a strategic course of action can be challenging and frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be.

Spouse Had Affair Now What to Do

To answer the first question: If you’re a couple in crisis wondering what steps you should take after disclosure, I’d like to encourage you to consider our EMS Online course. Over the course of 13 weeks, EMS Online provides specialized tools for both spouses to heal after infidelity. Whether you had an affair or are the betrayed spouse, this small group course is a great place to begin learning about what happened and gain tools to move forward.

We know that what you’re going through is incredibly difficult and that, on top of that, joining something that is unknown can be scary, so we’d like to share just a few of the hundreds of testimonials we’ve received from individuals who’ve successfully completed our EMS Online course.

"Affair Recovery’s EMS Online course literally saved our marriage from divorce. It was a relief to find someone who understood our pain. It was comforting to know that others were feeling and thinking the same thoughts as us."

"This course saved our marriage. EMS Online helped both of us understand each other on a level we never have before. We are closer now than we have ever been in 25 years of marriage and 36 years of knowing each other."

“I just finished EMS Online a few days ago and those 13 weeks ran so fast. It would have been impossible for me to move forward if it weren’t for Affair Recovery’s help. Your course is a blessing for those, like myself, that were in desperate need of help."

When you take the EMS Online course for couples, we provide a different mentor couple’s story each week, which provides insight and truth as to how they successfully made it to the other side. Here is a sneak peek at one of our inspirational mentor couple stories:

Meet Jeff and Liz

Secondly, if you’re a hurt spouse wondering what you can do for your own recovery, our Harboring Hope course is exceptional for the healing of betrayed men and women alike. Often, an unfaithful spouse either isn’t ready to commit to getting help or has decided they won’t end the affair. While it’s excruciating for the betrayed spouse, there is a pathway to coping with the pain and pursuing your own healing.

After disclosure, Harboring Hope is a safe environment that helps betrayed spouses find perspective and a process-oriented approach to long-term recovery. Over the course of 13 weeks, this small group program addresses issues such as:

I thought it would be great for you to hear from one of our own survivors, Lynn, who shares her very personal story of healing and redemption after taking our Harboring Hope course.

Meet Lynn

Just below, you’ll read just some of the positive feedback and testimonials we have received after each course:

"I was anxious, both good and bad, to call in to this week's first call. But the leader was very gracious with us and was so loving and sincere, it instantly took away all my negative emotions. I knew this was the right place for me.”

“I am amazed how the group fits together and plays off each other. Well done in your planning!”

“It was very good and very painful to listen to everyone’s story … helps you feel less isolated and gives you comfort in being among others that understand.”

“Just hearing we are not alone in our struggles of recovery, personal and marital, is immensely helpful. Learning some sort of path gives me more direction at a time when I am struggling to trust myself again.”

After disclosure that a spouse had an affair, many couples will immediately run to professional counseling for help and, I must admit, there are both pros and cons to this. Before making an appointment with just any marriage counselor, I highly encourage you to read our article “Infidelity Counseling: How Effective Is It?" The fact of the matter is that when you’re a couple in crisis, you need expert care rather than a generalist approach. I implore you to do your research and choose a professional who is an infidelity expert and, ideally, has helped many couples after disclosure.

It’s become my life’s work to provide a safe place where both couples and individuals can heal after infidelity. At Affair Recovery, our personal stories of healing create the opportunity for us to be knowledgeable guides to others who, unfortunately, have also encountered this tragedy. Whether you’re a couple in crisis, had an affair or are the hurt spouse, I hope and pray you’ll take action to heal right now so you can minimize the collateral damage and find the hope and perspective you need.

EMS Weekend for Couples Is Back in Person! Space Is Limited.

This isn’t another light-and-fluffy program that only scratches the surface of your pain. EMS Weekend is a safe space for you and your mate to begin moving toward acceptance, transformation and healing after infidelity. During EMS Weekend, we won’t shame the unfaithful or blame the betrayed; what we will do is pair you with expert infidelity counselors, comprehensive healing resources and a small group of other couples to heal with and learn from.

"I didn’t know what to expect. I was done. I had maybe 2% left. I figured we take the course and it would confirm we were done. My husband did not want to attend the weekend at all. I was prepared to file divorce papers Monday; he said divorce would be a welcomed relief. Sunday, he thanked me for insisting we do the weekend. He said he realized he had a lot of personal growth to do (I realized the same thing). I can imagine our four kids thanking Rick and the other staff years from now. We both recognize we have a long road ahead of us but, for the first time in a long time, we both have hope. It was worth every penny!"
— Virtual EMS Weekend participant | December 2020.

Register for EMS Weekend!



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