Q&A How Can I Get Past the Length of my Husband's Affair?

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Question: 

I am really struggling with the length of my husband's affair of over 2 years with the same woman, who is single. It seems that a one night Fling or an affair of just a few months would be so much easier to forgive. The affair didn't end until I discovered it and confronted him. He says he told her from the start that he loved me and would never leave me yet I know he told her he loved her as well. She willingly participated in keeping their affair secret from me. We have been married for 30 years yet I feel she knows him as well as I do. As much time as they spent together it is difficult for me to believe otherwise.

How can I get past the fact that the affair went on for so long?

I can't help but wonder if I had not discovered it that they would still be together. He has done everything he can to help me recover but I am also having a hard time believing that he could just suddenly stop thinking about someone that was part of his life for so long.

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Affair that went on for a long time

This is me. I can’t believe he now loves and wants me after being with his AP for a very long time. I call her his other wife. I’m 18 mos out. I’m stuck. I hate this. All he had to do was say no.