Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Six Types of Affairs: One Night Stand

Introduction
>Category 1: One Night Stand
Category 2: Fallen in Love
Category 3: Sexual Addiction
Category 4: Wanting the Marriage and the Affair
Category 5: Emotional Affair
Category 6: Love Addiction

Category 1: One Night Stand

This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal. The typical one night stand usually occurs when a spouse is away from home, possibly on a business or pleasure trip (not to be confused with a string of one night stands that occur as a sex addict pursues his or her addictive drive), and occurs as a result of the opportunities afforded in that moment. Often this occurs as a result of poor boundaries, drinking, and anonymity. This type of affair is not necessarily an indication of problems in the marriage or that the betrayer is dissatisfied with his or her mate. In fact, one of the distinguishing points in this type of affair is the betrayer’s desire to stay married.

The core of this betrayal is based on a high-risk situation, poor boundaries, and the opportunity to act. Frequently, there is no emotional involvement, and often this type of affair occurs with a perfect stranger who is befriended or a work acquaintance. Internal risk factors such as loneliness, fatigue, anger, or hunger, may contribute to susceptibility. Frequently pride deceives this person into believing nothing will happen, which allows them to justify being in a high-risk situation. Normally, individuals who have had one night stands tell themselves that they will go to the grave with their secret because they don’t want to hurt their mate and they don’t wasn’t to lose their marriage.

Characteristics:

  • It is an affair of convenience or opportunity. It is not something that is sought out, but rather occurs as the result of an opportunity that is presented.
  • The majority of the time betrayer does not want to leave the marriage.
  • There is not an ongoing relationship.

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Affair

This sounds a lot like my husband although he's in denial this is the story that comes up practically every given chance

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