Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Six Types of Affairs: One-Night Stand

types of affairs
6 Types of Affairs:

Category 1: One Night Stand
Category 2: Fallen in Love
Category 3: Sexual Addiction
Category 4: Wanting the Marriage and the Affair
Category 5: Emotional Affair
Category 6: Love Addiction

Category 1: One-Night Stand

This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal. The typical one-night stand usually occurs when a spouse is away from home, possibly on a business or pleasure trip (not to be confused with a string of one-night stands that occur as a sex addict pursues his or her addictive drive), and occurs as a result of the opportunities afforded in that moment. Often, this occurs as a result of some combination of poor boundaries, drinking, and anonymity. This type of affair is not necessarily an indication of problems in the marriage or that the betrayer is dissatisfied with his or her mate. In fact, one of the distinguishing points in this type of affair is the betrayer's desire to stay married.

At the core of this betrayal is a high-risk situation, poor boundaries, and the opportunity to act. Frequently, there is no emotional involvement and, often, this type of affair occurs with a perfect stranger who is befriended or a work acquaintance. Internal risk factors such as loneliness, fatigue, anger, or hunger may contribute to susceptibility. Frequently, pride deceives this person into believing nothing will happen, which allows them to justify being in a high-risk situation. Normally, individuals who have had one-night stands tell themselves that they will go to the grave with their secret because they don't want to hurt their mate and they don't want to lose their marriage.

Characteristics of a One-Night Stand:

  • It is an affair of convenience or opportunity. It is not something that is sought out but, rather, it occurs as the result of an opportunity that is presented.
  • The majority of the time the betrayer does not want to leave the marriage.
  • There is not an ongoing relationship.


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What is this?

My partner had a one night stand with an ex coworker and afterwards thought it would be a good idea to just be friends with her. He says after the one night stand he genuinely just wanted a friendship with her and nothing more, two months into this so called friendship he realized it was a terrible idea and cut off all contact with her. After his one night stand he had two lunches and daily communication with her but states nothing physical ever happened after. I don't know if this constitutes an affair?

Revenge cheated with one time fling to teach him a lesson

My husband of 20 years has been repeatedly caught in various situations with other women since we met . He found I had seen evidence of this on his computer in 2012 and he told me our marriage was over . I wanted to make him hurt as I did and had a couple one night stands and told him . Fast forward to last year when I found out he was having sex for years with the same women I caught him texting inappropriately years ago . He won’t talk about any of it but when I try to tell him I need to know how he justified this behavior instead of building together like he said after I told him what I had done , he instead flips it back to me and says “well you did it so we are even now .” What I did to get back at him was wrong and made me feel like a terrible person. He was downright verbally abusive and hateful when he was with other women . He kept going back to them even when he knew I had an idea he was doing it . Every single time now I try to bring up my intrusive thoughts about the lies and how I feel he does this . I moved out of the home in November 2022 with our children and he refuses still to talk about it always saying it’s no different than what u did to me . He thinks counseling will fix this but I don’t see how .

Hi! Honestly, I don'tvsee any

Hi! Honestly, I don'tvsee any mutual respect in your relationship.But I would give counseling a try. If you feel to exhausted from everything, time to move on.

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