Q&A How Do I Get past the Fears of What He Will Do If I Leave Him?

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Question: 

When dealing with a husband who has been a habitual cheater throughout our entire relationship, has several drug addictions, and has tendencies of violent behavior... Why should I stay? My husband has been unfaithful since before we were married. He always made me feel like I was crazy, over-jealous, paranoid, and not a good wife. After 8 years of self-doubt and belittlement, I discovered the "proof" needed to confirm his affairs, but it only made things worse. Now, 4 years later, I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and am just not able to overcome the emotional (and occasional physical) abuse, the chronic cheating, the manipulations, and the drug addictions. He says he is willing to do “whatever it takes” but his actions show VERY different. Each time we discuss problems, he threatens suicide or he plays the “I’m just not good enough for you” card. I am ready to leave, but not sure how to. He always threatens suicide, self-harm, or taking the children when we discuss divorcing. I am miserable. My children are miserable. We live in constant uncertainty of “what will Daddy do next to hurt us” and if he will be leaving again or not! My question is... How do I get over the fears of being responsible for what my husband will do when I leave, and how do I actually leave having these fears that are very real??? I don’t want him to end his life or harm himself, but I just can no longer do this.

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