Q&A How Do I Quit Thinking about My Husband's Affair?

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Question: 

We're almost at the one year point of the first D-Day, and I'm sick of my life revolving around recovery and having to get over his choices. I truly do love my husband, but I resent him for making such a mess of my life. I'm functioning normally now, but there isn't a day when I don't think about it, often several times a day and the recovery work contributes to that. I think I'm especially angry because he didn't do this for the sake of misguided love, he did it simply to have a different orgasm 3 or 4 times a year. His 6 year affair ended last spring and was with a business associate he only saw on out of town trips. Both wanted casual sex, nothing more. For that my husband traded our marriage. I'm also angry that with her he had quick erections and great orgasms. With me even with Viagra half the time he couldn't start or couldn't finish, and his orgasms weren't great. I'm sure his porn use and daily masturbation took a toll on sex with me, plus with her he took larger doses of Viagra….but he didn't need it at all their first time. It's so demoralizing. When will life ever feel normal? He has changed completely and is genuinely sorry, but I'm tired of thinking about all of this.

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