Q&A Should This Friendship End?

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22 years since first affair and 18 months out from DDay with second affair. I recognize I have had no boundaries since his first affair, and became co-dependent. He lost himself to shame, which he has struggled against his whole life . My current struggle is with finding and erecting reasonable boundaries. He works with his AP and has made steps to reduce their relationship, but has stated (to her & me) that he will keep their friendship door open. He still has strong feelings for her and has not grieved. He sees no problem with the way things are. I do not feel he is honest about his feelings and I am continually forced to uncover when they will be working together. I do not see any way that I will be able to have a safe relationship with him while he continues their friendship. Our counsellor has said I have to remember this is his job - I believe he has choices within this job - he could be doing more (switching duties to avoid being rostered with her, requesting to be removed as her "support person", delegating when her assistance is necessary). He is not being proactive. This is very emotional for me. I am finding it hard to move past this and her role in his life. Is it unreasonable to expect that this friendship should end?



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