Q&A What does Working Through this in a healthy way look like for me and my children?

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Question: 

My husband and I are 2 months from DDay.

He refuses to break up with his AP although he knows he has to for us to move forward. 22 days ago he left our home "to gain clarity". He went to his parents’ home. When he left he said "don't lose hope on me". And I haven't. 

He hasn't made a priority to see our 3 children. His routine has him home little enough that our children ask where he is. I haven't been able to answer them. The other night my 8 year old daughter asked him on the phone when he would be home and he stated "I'm sleeping at grandma's house". I couldn't believe he went there. I've made it clear that we need to be on the same page with the message we give our children.

I am holding onto his words as hope, but his actions don't line up.... He tells me he is confused and I believe he is. I'm confused as to what it means to pull myself off the emotional roller coaster every day because it is taking a toll on me versus trying to work through the situation with him - what does "working through this in a healthy way look like for me and the kids and trusting that he might find his way home?"

I'm registered for HH and he has told me he will go to EMS weekend after he breaks up with the AP.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas