Q&A What Type of Affair is This?

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Hi John and Leslie, I'm a little over 4 months from our first Dday, and 2 months from Dday 3. My husband and I have been married 19 years. He began acting out about 15 years ago. His behavior included massage parlor (once), frequent strip club visits, make out session at a bar (once), a one night stand, another almost one night stand (until he realized she was a prostitute), online porn for the past couple years, and the most painful betrayal; an affair that started as physical with a colleague that he saw at several meetings a year. The physical affair lasted for a year but he kept up a friendship with her for the last 5 years and would continue to attempt to restart the physical affair with her during most the meetings. According to him, it was only while he was drinking and she never reciprocated. All of his behavior was while traveling for work so it was easy to deceive me and keep everything a secret. My husband claims he didn't have feelings for the AP that he had the affair with. He saw her as a friend with benefits. I have read so many things about types of affairs but he didn't seem to fit into any one category. Is this a sexual addiction or was he just being a selfish jerk and acting on impulse and opportunity?



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