Expert Q&A Preview: How Do I Let Go of My Regrets?

Question: 

The last contact I had with my Affair Partner was 13 months ago. I’ve gone through tons of recovery work, including Hope for Healing, EMS Online and individual counseling. My husband is very passive-aggressive. I did the heavy lifting in it all. I’d send him any text or email I had with any man. I’d even tell him any conversation or feeling I’d had for any man. He appreciated this and shared in our EMS Online [group] how this helped him feel safe. I still miss the Affair Partner and feel very alone in my marriage. We have children, and so we push on. My husband is unemployed, and we are broke. Recently, I discovered that someone gifted us $100 and my husband blew it. He also had a hidden credit card that he racked up debt on. I also caught him watching sensual music videos, and he claims he’s been doing that since my affair was discovered — and he was quite defensive when I caught him. What gets me is that all this time I’ve been honest, and he’s said he was so thankful, only to be lying to me behind my back through it all. I wonder sometimes if my whole life will be washed up in regret from staying with this man, who has already gotten the best of my youth and of my fertility.

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