Q&A After His Affairs, He Isn't Broken. Can We Heal?

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Question: 

My husband's two long term physical and emotional affairs blew up my world in Jan. 2015. I have been trying to reconcile (much of that time he was fake reconciling while continuing the affair). To my knowledge he hasn't had inappropriate physical contact with anyone for the last 6 months but lied to me about spending a day alone with another woman who he says is a platonic friend. He actually now told me that she has been cheating on her husband with one of his friends. I don't know what to believe anymore. The last lie that I uncovered was about 2 months ago but he no longer let's me read his emails. He says he wants to work things out but he has his terms. For instance I want to go to weekly counseling, he says he will only go twice a month. I want him to be an open book with pass codes and email, he says I can only have one. I feel like he should be way more accommodating and making lots of effort if he wants me to stick around. The bottom line he has been a terrible husband (cheating/lying) for 4 years. Now I feel like he should be making up for his crappy behavior and be an amazing husband. He says he's sorry but doesn't feel obligated to make up for any of his wrongdoing. He is still more concerned about what he wants. Can we ever heal without him truly being broken? Is it unrealistic to expect him to want to make up for his wrongs or be very accommodating? (We have taken EMSO and I took Harboring Hope.)

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