Q&A Is This Another Form of Justification and Blame Shifting?

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My mate and I are currently 2 months out from the third D-Day. We are currently enrolled in EMSO and have completed Week 2 which stressed the importance of full disclosure. He has finally given me access to emails, deleted his social media, and even changed his number. He has been consistent in his actions thus far. This has given me a newfound feeling of hope. I mentioned that at some point I would be interested in taking a polygraph to ensure that we have finally reached ground zero. He immediately proclaimed that is where he draws the line. He suspects the traumas from my past are interfering with my trust. I feel as though what I’ve asked for has been reasonable and were solely due to his infidelity. I have lied 3 times in our relationship regarding finances. I have demonstrated my own failure to commit. We have both discussed what makes us safe and I am doing what I can in that. I let him know I’d do whatever it takes to prove I am being honest. Because he has never come to me voluntarily with his infidelity, I’m fearful this is another form of justification and blame shifting. I know he’s done it before and I’m worried he’s doing it again. I desperately want to understand his point of view and attempt to lean in, but I am afraid I am just being manipulated again. Is his fear legitimate?



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