Q&A Can Someone go from Years of Unfaithfulness to Faithful at the Flip of a Switch?

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My husband was involved in multiple affairs with multiple people over the course of our dating and married life of 15 years. It was with women that work with us and also clients when he would be out of town. I was tipped off about his affairs many times by coworkers but he kept denying it and I believed him. I finally drilled him enough that he confessed to it. I kicked him out that day and filed for divorce shortly after. We were divorced 3 years when I felt God was calling us to reconcile. We took a chance at dating again, but he was still entangled with a few women. I said I wouldn't reconcile until he cut off all relationships and came back to me with all his heart. After a month, he did. Things were good. We set boundaries, changed phone numbers, email addresses. You name it. We decided to remarry each other shortly thereafter. We never talked through the infidelity before or after divorce, or when we reconnected. As we have been remarried for 2 years now, more details have come out about his affairs. He continued his lifestyle and sexual promiscuity while we were divorced. I'm in a place now where I'm finally grieving the affair 6 years after discovery. I live in fear that he will do it again. He has been open and honest about everything, answering all my questions even though it is difficult. He's told me and shown me that he wants only me and has no desire for this old life. We still work together and see all of his APs. I'm in Harboring Hope and we've done 2-3 counseling sessions together with professional therapists. My husband doesn't feel like he needs to go through any recovery. How does one go from 18 years of infidelity to none at all and not feel like they need outside help? I feel like that is a recipe for relapse. He's committed to God and me but I feel like he should have a support system or go through Hope for Healing so he can get a perspective on how to prevent a relapse. He said he knows how each occurrence got to the point of crossing the line. He said he knows God was not a part of his life then and that he made his own choices. He feels he's a changed man and knows what not to do to get him in a vulnerable place again. Am I overreacting? Is it normal to go from years of affairs to being completely faithful with the flip of a switch? Wouldn't someone need an accountability partner?



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