Q&A Did I Make a Mistake in Ending the Marriage?

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Today I said “I’m done”, but when I read some articles on AR it said it was a colossal mistake. I feel like I’m getting mixed messages - be kind to an “unwell” partner vs. taking care of myself. We are 6 months from D-Day. My husband deployed to a terrible war torn country when our youngest was 2 weeks old. We had been through deployments before and didn’t have an issue. Six months in he slept with a woman he was attracted to. A month later he decided to pursue it because it “felt so right”. The affair lasted 6 months abroad and 4 months while he was at home (they did not see each other). When he came home I had no idea. We were happy. Before this we were so in love and had two kids. Then I found out via text message and ever since he’s been doubling down on his love for her. He left me for her 4 months after D-Day. I moved home with the kids. Two months after separation, he called to reconcile but sounded so reluctant. For him it’s all about the kids but his gut is telling him that the AP is the love of his life and his true path. We spent a month together and Christmas with the children. I tried to keep it light but he kept saying that he was “missing his life” with her and that they had planned a future together. This morning he said he didn’t know why he couldn’t shake his feelings for her and that his feelings for me hadn’t returned. He wants to baby step this along the way, do some counseling and H4H and hope the feelings return. I feel like I deserve someone who loves me and wants to be with me, not just for the kids. Have I made a mistake ending it?



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