Q&A How Can I Find the Truth From so Long Ago?

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Husband had a 5 day emotional affair with a co-worker 21 years ago during a business trip. I confronted him at that time. He denied it. Decided to come clean with me this past February. We’d been together for 4 1/2 yrs. The spectrum of 'details' he's 'admitted' over the last 8 months are: 'she was just a friend I thought about sleeping with' to 'I think I may have been in love with her'. He now tells me that that he liked her/the way she made him feel: important /special. She hung on his every word. She had confided to him that her marriage was bad. He said negative things about me. He said they had an emotional connection and the 'she understood him'. He was happy when he left home that week. He thought about having sex with her. It made him feel uncomfortable. He said she was getting too close (physically) and was glad the week was over. He admits he did have 'feelings' for her, but he cannot describe what they were. He said that he felt sorry for her because of her 'bad' marriage. I need details of their interactions AND what the feelings were. He said that he cannot remember any details that far back/gets defensive. I feel I cannot move on until I understand what happened. He keeps telling me the feelings were just empathy and he didn't love her and to accept that. I need help finding the truth.



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