Q&A How Can I Forget My AP?

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Rick, I am the unfaithful spouse to my husband and we are 5 months into the 2nd discovery date. He is very concerned and rightfully so, about rather or not I have thoughts of my former AP. I do ask him each time he ask this question, if this is something he really wants to know before I answer. He assures me that he does, but when I am honest, it is a set back for him and he states that he could never stay with me knowing I will think about the AP. He believes that I should not have any kind, fond or wondering thoughts but only "disgusting" thoughts of the AP due to what the affair cost our marriage. He states that I should be able to forget the AP, find him disgusting, and replace the thoughts with scripture. Are thoughts of the AP normal, are they every forgotten, do they fade away and how long should this take? Should I share with my husband when I do think about the AP? I want to be honest with my spouse, and at the same time spare him from any additional hurt. Thank you so much for any insight, as I feel my marriage is hinging on me being able to totally forget about the AP.



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How to handle the "can you

How to handle the "can you forget about the AP" when both the unfaithful and AP work in the same office. Scenario; when the AP comes up with work related questions to contact the unfaithful and inserts a question about a personal need? This scenario seems that it would set both the unfaithful and betrayed back in the healing process even though the unfaithful is being honest in providing the information about the work contact.
Please advise on how to handle the future contact events for the unfaithful, betrayed and AP.

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