Q&A How Can I Handle Being Triggered by the Affair Partner?

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My husband and I are 3 months out from d-day. I think that we are doing well overall, and we are working through things in therapy, but naturally some days are harder than others, and some of those he is more patient than others.

His affair partner (emotional affair for about 2-3 years before becoming sexual about 2 years ago)was a former coworker and friend of both of ours, and I have intimate details about her and her life due to that former friendship, which is problematic at best. They broke off all contact after I found out, and to my knowledge neither has seen or spoken to the other one for 3 months.

We live in a relatively small town, and I have run into her several times. I see her, but I'm not always sure she sees me. Anyway, even though I think we are doing well and he agrees, I am very triggered by the sight of her...it sends me down this rabbit hole where I question if it's all a facade and worry they could be deceiving me again. How do you suggest that I cope when this happens? I do my best to avoid places she might be, but it's difficult, and she lives about 2 blocks from our home.



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