The day before our 35th wedding anniversary, I caught my husband in a seven month emotional and physical affair. He was planning a divorce; fifteen months later, he's re-committed to our marriage. Although I am now saturated with education on the vulnerabilities of our marriage before the affair, and am working hard on them, I’m stuck. I can’t get over the idea that he lived as a werewolf for nine months. He continued in the affair for two months after discovery, and continued lying about it for a year. There he was, my husband as I knew him through all those years: one of the good guys, a combination of integrity and humor, dependability and adventure. Here he is now, the guy I've always known, working every day at our recovery. But for nine months, the time it takes to make a baby, he was feral--ruthless, manipulative, cruel, dishonest to the core, uncaring of any pain he would inflict on me and our three sons. Our marital problems existed, more serious than I'd realized, but he could have approached them with integrity. How can I move towards vulnerability with someone capable of this coldblooded course of deception and selfishness? How can I hold his hand, much less hug him for 60 seconds? We're in therapy; I get a lot of "He's a good guy who did bad things." True–but how can I sleep next to a werewolf?