I am the betrayed wife and we are 13 months into this ordeal. Every holiday & other special days, such as birthdays, I tend to get severely down. I expected that to be the issue last year when this was all new, but it's happening again with my birthday & Thanksgiving which occur a week apart this year. I had been so much better, but have spiraled into a major funk in the past week. I have been crying frequently again, and when I'm not crying I just feel nothing. I have no joy or desire to do anything, even though I am hosting the holiday festivities. I don't even know what is wrong, other than a generalized "down" feeling. My husband is working on healing us, we are together, my kids are doing well, I'm not actively reliving the past or angry about anything new. I'm hoping you can give some ideas for how to stop doing this to myself each year, because it's killing the tremendous joy I have previously always had during the holidays & it goes against my personal values to let something rule over me like this! Am I just having a one-woman a pity party?