Q&A How Can I Reach Full Disclosure While Protecting Myself from Intrusive Thoughts?

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Question: 

My spouse did not voluntarily disclose; I discovered the infidelity through phone records. He ended the affair. He says they were only physical three times with limited acts (no intercourse, no kissing), and he didn’t have feelings for her. I don’t believe this because they texted and talked daily for a year. He had a hard time disclosing and was super defensive. Because his story about the extent of the affair doesn’t make sense given the amount of contact they had, I don’t know that I have full disclosure, which is hindering our progress. I could recover text messages and review them to confirm/disprove his story. My question is, should I recover and read his text messages so that I can be sure I have full disclosure and move on? There will be details that I can’t un-see, which may end up being more damaging than it’s worth. How can I ensure full disclosure otherwise?

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